we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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