btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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