In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
and she was petting her beer can
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
