I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
