Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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