He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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