so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
he puts the penis in happiness.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
