why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
You ruined the universe
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
