I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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