I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
