im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
this hospital has no fireball
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
