are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
