You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
