This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
