Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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