But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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