I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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