You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I want her autograph on my taint
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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