Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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