Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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