I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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