how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
