I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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