K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
