I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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