The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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