I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
