did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
