# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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