weddingsv make me drug and hornr
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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