Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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