Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
