absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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