just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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