weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
