How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
