community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
