I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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