he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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