You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
