He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
