Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
