just come out here and I will go home with you...
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Randomize
