Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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