I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Randomize
