I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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