Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
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