none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
