It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
