Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
