He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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