i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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