I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
don't judge my taste in strippers
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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