Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
