somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
A+ Viking dick
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
