normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
