He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
