yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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