She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
