didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
