She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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