I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize