ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
