i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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