There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
