i just had sex bonerless
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize