She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Where is the hickey?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize
