Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
The Olympian is in my bed
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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