i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
