with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I think my vagina is haunted
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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