im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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