the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Your cock deserves a montage
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
