why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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