Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
