I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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