But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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